Today, in Colorado..... :)

My drive to work.....BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS

Life is goin. Nothin really new. The weather has been wonderful. Spring like. We really need snow or rain. To we can have moisture. Its just mostly sunshine and in the 60's. LOVE IT!

I got to wear Capri pants today. It was almost 70!

Anyway, I am packing things up. It is very sad. I love where I live in this house. I love the views and the animals. Two of the cows on the property are due to calf next week. :) I love it. It truly makes me upset to have to move. I just can't afford to live here if I don't have Bob's help. I hate packing.

I was offered to rent a room here in Penrose, at an Alpaca farm. It sounded fun, and it was a good price, but I really want to have a place by myself. If at all possible. I am looking. :(

The kids at work are great as always. Saying the funniest things. Three of the boys were playing in the 'home living' area of our room and the little 4 year old yells to me holding a plastic glass "Here Miss Gail, here's your Carmel Machiatto." My favorite coffee drink. It just tickles me to hear them say stuff I taught them in the beginning of the year. Then a 5 year old red head in my class sat next to me on the floor, and laid his head on my lap and I said, "Hey why are you laying on me like I'm a pillow?" He says..."Cuz I love you." It's so great. I love to stand by the playground slide and as they come down the slide. I get static on my hands and zap them as the go flying by me. They laugh, they love it. I love these kids! I have such a great job. Just wish it paid more. Oh well.

I am adding some pictures I took while driving to work. The sunrise on the mountains. Beautiful!....Until next time....Peace and prayers.

Update on Life

Logan and Clark Kent in the house.

Some of the baby goats.

Clark on a chair in the house. So cute. He is potty trained.

Happy President's Day. Seems like there is always some kind of holiday. I guess that is good since I get the day off.

I have been having so many emotional days lately. I am on meds and yeah for that, but I find myself crying more. I go from up and happy to sad and feeling very alone. This is a hard time for me. Altho Bob would just call me a cry baby, I don't care. I am very emotional. I cry at commercials, I cry at TV shows, I cry at work when a child is hurting. That is how I am wired. Women are more that way.

I am trying to pay bills, and plan for the future. I can't stay here because I just can't afford the rent. I really can't afford rent and utilities anywhere. I do not want to leave this place. The landlords are so wonderful, and I am so close to my mother and father in law, by heart and by distance. I love the views here, the quiet, the animals,- horses, alpacas, goats, sheep, cows. God is the provider and I am leaning on Him to guide me. I guess I still haven't let it sink in that Bob doesn't want me anymore. It hurts too much. It really, really hurts me. Bob is so different from me, and I did have a lot of great times with him. I like to talk things out and solve problems, Bob would rather give up. Give up almost 12 years of 'us', give up trying, give up counseling after only one time, give up on being the head of our household. God is #1 in my life. I continue to pray for Bob's heart. God can heal anything. Even us.

If Bob reads this, I am sure he will say I am writing this as a "Poor Gail" thing. Whatever you want to call it, so be it. Rejection sucks and I hate it. I am glad Jesus doesn't reject us. This is my therapy.

I thank my family and some of Bob's, for all the verbal support they have given me. It's good to be loved. My friends have been awesome also. Shoulders to lean on. Now if I could win the lottery, I'd be set. I am scared to death of the lack of money I make, no jobs available around here, and paying monthly bills. I love my job. I don't want to quit. It just pays so little. Summer is no work. I hope something good happens.

Other than that, I had a very quiet Valentine's Day. I visited my Mother and Father in law for a few hours, and then I went out to dinner with sister in law, Melissa for her Birthday. I got to play with their baby goats, and hug my In laws horses. It was a nice day.

Sunday I went to church to do my nursery duty. So fun with little ones. Our new church building will be ready to move into soon. It is so much bigger than where we are right now. It will be a blessing to our growing church family. We have 4 services every week. We have over 700 people every Sunday and growing. When I started going to it, there was only between 200-400 a week. I love the The Vineyard Church. I love worshipping. Can't sing enough to the Lord. So I best be getting to bed. I have to work tomorrow after a 4 day weekend. I miss the kids. Have a nice week. Oh and Happy Birthday Bob on the 22. Ciao 4 now. Keep prayin!!!!

Superbowl Sunday

Justice enjoying his cake.

PIKE'S PEAK about 25 minutes from my house.

MY SEMI HOT WINGS

MY BEER, WINGS AND GUAC.

Well I am watching the Superbowl as I write this. I made semi hot wings from scratch, and I made very good guacamole. I am here with just Izzy and its okay. I have Bud with me. Budlime. So go Cardinals!!! Also I am so happy Clay Guida won his UFC fight last night in Las Vegas!!! Good job Clay. He is from McHenry , IL. Yesterday I went to my friend Tara's baby's first Birthday party at McDonalds. It was fun and little Justice was covered in chocolate frosting. I will try to add those pictures to this too. What a cute little mess.

Have a happy week where ever you live. It has been in the 60s here the past week. So nice. My friend in KY is without electricity and lost 3 baby goats due to it being so cold and no heat lamps. :( It's all ice where they live. Scary stuff.

I am blessed to live here.

Well I'm goin back to the big game...ciao baby

ONE DAY AT A TIME ..............................

Do you like my new IKEA lamp?

Just getting caught up on stuff. I am praying more and more these days. I am trying to understand why things happen. Why people you love and have shared everything with, reject you. Why a person you loved so much can totally walk away from you. Why when you call them, they use hurtful words and sarcasim. Why don't they understand that life is a flash? Life is short, life is hard, and friend love is hard to find. I have been punched in the heart. It feels like they reached in my body, and pulled out my heart, then smashed it all over the sidewalk. I am getting on with things, but man oh man I don't know how I am going to do all the bills. I love living where I live. Here alone with my Izzy. I want to continue to live here, but I can't. I have to move. Everyone says ,"You will never find anything as cheap as you are paying now." Great. I know God Provides and I will be good. I only make a bit over minimum wage. Then a lay off in the summer with pay.

It is just the day to day stuff that scare me. I have wonderful in laws that truly care about ME. Thank God for them!!! It makes me so sad that their son doesn't. :( God can change people for the better. God is a big God and I love Him. He is showing me beautiful things everyday. I miss the talking with someone at night, counting on them, the hugs and kisses. I miss the going places, and help with bills. I LOVE marriage. Marriage in the true sense. Love and caring. Doing for each other. Security and protection. Working out problems! Laughs. Unconditional caring.

I love my family and my friends. So many are praying for me. What is better than that? Prayers get me through everything. The Lord is my Shepherd. So who ever is reading this, please keep praying for me to have hope, strength, abilities, laughter, a home and love surrounding me. Have a great day!

ONLY GOD IS GETTING ME THROUGH THIS.......

I think it is biblical to give thanks in the following manner even in the worst moments. We give thanks . . .

That God is sovereign.That nothing happens by chance.

That God causes all things to work together for good for his children.

That hard times reveal our weakness, break our pride, and show us our total need for God.

That God has triumphed over sin and death through his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

That God uses the worst that happens to promote our spiritual growth.

That God is faithful even when we are faithless.

That God’s Word will be vindicated.

That God’s promises are true.

That evil will not reign forever.

That heaven is real.

That this world is not the “real” world.

That when we are weak, he is strong.That his grace is sufficient for every situation.

That nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

That our salvation rests on God and not on us.

That there is no pit so deep that the love of God is not deeper still.

That the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from every sin.

That God delights to save sinners.

That the Lord can soften the hardest heart.

That there are no impossible cases with God.

That even when we feel alone, we are never alone.

That our Father will not test us beyond what we can bear.

That the Holy Spirit abides with us always.

That the Lord Jesus feels our pain.That the Holy Spirit prays for us when we are too weak to pray for ourselves.

That the Lord Jesus intercedes for us so that we are finally saved.

That God uses everything and wastes nothing.

That our doubts cannot cancel God’s work in us.

That someday we will be conformed to the image of Christ.

That God is faithful to finish his work in us.

That our hardships equip us to minister to others.

That we are invited to come boldly to the throne of grace.

That God’s plan far exceeds our puny imagination.

That weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

That we are still God’s children even when our faith falters.

That while we suffer outwardly, we are being renewed inwardly.

That our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory.

“Thank God no matter what happens.

THANK YOU LORD JESUS! gail

If you didin't know, you have recently witnessed two miracales. Both involving air planes. Two crashes, lots of people, and NO ONE killed.........That IS GOD.

Christmas and New Year

Gramma and Brock at Jo and Mikes' table

Gramma and Brock...I LOVE THIS BOY.

Brock making French Toast with me...

Mike and Brock testing out the new motorcycle racers

My nephew Phil modeling kids goggles and lovely pink gloves scarf and warm hat.

My gorgeous Molly and Brock

Barb and Pete's mantle with all the kids, grandkids and Jesus' stockings

Barb's Gingerbread house and my Welcome sign..

Well Happy New Year !!! I got to go to IL. to be with my family this Christmas. I had so much fun. Thanks Barb and Pete for EVERYTHING. They paid for my plane ticket. When I got to IL, it was below zero. Tons of snow everywhere. Then 2 days later, it was raining, and melting, then flooding, then warm. It was very weird.

I can't even remember all I did, but here is some of it.. Barb my sister and I went shopping to Goodwill, Ulta, 1/2 price books, and Sam's and Walmart. We ate pizza, pork chops, went to Gus's with Pete's parents, It was great just being with her and Pete. Jo my other sister, Brock, and I went to IKEA, Portillo's. Mike, Jo Molly , Mike and I went to a very cool place for dinner called TEXAS DE BRAZIL, where they serve yummy meats on huge swords to your table. Oh man it was fun. The salad bar is huge and beautiful. Thanks JO and Mike!

Christmas was so nice to be with everybody. They were very kind to me with all the junk I am going through right now with Bob kicking me out of his life. God will be the judge of all that. I just wished he would be Godly about this.

Molly did my hair again and I love it. She taught me how to use a straight iron. Cool. Molly and Mike and I took Brock to see BEDTIME STORIES, with Adam Sadler. It was great. So cute! While with Molly and Mike I got to see TROPICAL THUNDER, THE NEW BATMAN, SARAH MARSHALL, AND SEVEN POUNDS. I think that is all. We watched a bunch of movies. Brock was wonderful and funny. He is so smart. 4 years old and knows his letters and colors and he is a riot. I am so proud of him. He got a paint swirl set for Christmas and he wanted to play with it a lot. I even went out and bought more card board and cut it to fit. It is fun to watch Brock use his little talents. I gave him a Fisher Price digital camera for Christmas. He is really good with it. Wow. I guess I have taught him something about cameras. He still uses mine with great results. Little Ansel Adams. LOL. Brock has learned to play PBS games on the computer so now he asks Molly and Mike, "Can I go on line?" Sounds so funny coming from a 4 year old. New years eve was a little rough on our whole family with something that happened, but God is in control of everything so I am leaving it to HIM.

I got home Jan 2. I had run out of propane and the house was cold. They can't deliver til Monday, so I have little space heaters around. Brrrrr. Seriously, it was warmer outside than in the house. My land lords will be here for the propane delivery. Without Bob helping, it will be hard to stay here. Again, God is in control of me. Stay tuned.. I will add some pictures to this blog. Thank you to everyone who drove me everywhere, took me out to eat, took care of me, and for all the hugs. I love you all. Happy New Year....love, Gail

Snowy, Snowy Day.......................

The above picture is driving into Canon City.
The cookies are from the Cookie Exchange I went to Friday...Yummmmm

This decorated house is a house in Canon City. Awesome!!!!

This picture is the mountains covered in snow. I took it while I was driving. Shhhhh don't tell.

Oh wow, did it snow! I was up at 3:45 am after a dream I had. No snow then...Well and hour later it started snowing and hasn't stopped yet, and it's 1:00 pm. I even drove to church today. AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That is about 16 miles from here. I have front wheel drive and traction control. Yes I was scared silly, but I wanted to try. I saw a big truck in the deep ditch off of 50. I just drove sloooooow. Church was good as always. It's Advent and I love it. I had to unpile my car again after church. I really miss Bob on these kind of days. He was very gracious on snowy/icy days. He would scrape the car and drive in the snow. I still hate it. It is wonderful to look at but, get me off the roads. On the way home I stopped to get windshield fluid and the newspaper. I am home with Izzy and we lite some candles, are going to snuggle up and take a nap. I even put up a few Christmas decorations. I still would love a tree but I just can't afford it this year. I am broke. SO, NO ONE get me a present cuz I can't afford to get any this year. I did send out cards to a lot of people. Did you get one? I really miss Bob. This sucks. Really sucks. I want Bob to come home. Ok enough sadness...Come on Izzy lets go take a nap.

OLD PATHS......

THE OLD PATHS�I liked the old paths, when�Moms were at home.�Dads were at work.�Brothers went into the army.�And sisters got married BEFORE having children!�Crime did not pay;Hard work did;�And people knew the difference.�Moms could cook;�Dads would work;Children would behave.�Husbands were loving;�Wives were supportive;�And children were polite.Women wore the jewelry;�And Men wore the pants.�Women looked like ladies;�Men looked like gentlemen;�And children looked decent.�People loved the truth,�And hated a lie;�They came to church to get IN,�Not to get OUT!�Hymns sounded Godly;�Sermons sounded helpful;�Rejoicing sounded normal;�And crying sounded sincere.�Cursing was wicked;�Drugs were for illness;�And divorce was unthinkable.�The flag was honored;�America�was beautiful;�And God was welcome!�We read the Bible in public;�Prayed in school;�And preached from house to house�To be called an American was worth dying for;�To be called a Christian was worth living for;�To be called a traitor was a shame!�Preachers preached because they had a message;�And Christians rejoiced because they had the VICTORY!�Preachers preached from the Bible;�Singers sang from the heart;�And sinners turned to the Lord to be SAVED!A new birth meant a new life;�Salvation meant a changed life;�Following Christ led to eternal life.�Being a preacher meant you proclaimed the word of God;�Being a deacon meant you would serve the Lord;�Being a Christian meant you would live for Jesus;�And being a sinner meant someone was praying for you!�Laws were based on the Bible;�Homes read the Bible;�And churches taught the Bible.�God was worshiped;�Christ was exalted;�And the Holy Spirit was respected..�Church was where you found Christians�on the Lord's day, rather than in the garden,�on the creek bank, on the golf course,�Or being entertained somewhere else.�I still like the old paths the best!

ME AND SANTA

I TOLD SANTA I HAVE BEEN A GOOD GIRL....WELL, I HAVE BEEN..

THE PARADE OF LIGHTS...

Well we all had fun last Friday and Saturday night. Friday night in our very great little town, there was a fun time at 'The Coyote Coffee Den'. White Mocha Peppermint coffee, Hay rides, Bon Fires, Hot Cider, Singing, Santa, and friends. Then Saturday night, in Canon City, CO, there was the 'Parade of Lights'. Here are some pictures I took during the parade. It was a nice 56 degrees during this parade. So warm for this time of year here. I was with my friends Melissa and her kids, and Tanya and her son. We saw people we knew and of course Santa!!!! It was fun. Then Sunday after church, it was 70 degrees, came home and took a nap, then went over to my awesome In-Laws house, picked them up, and we went to see a play "Best Christmas Pageant Ever" that had one of the little girls in my class in it. It was very cute. I knew 3 kids in the play. I took my In-Laws home afterwards, and Betty made waffles and eggs for dinner. It was such a fun weekend!!
I miss Bob a lot. I still have a love for him and don't want my marriage to end. I love Christmas time. I miss Bob. I haven't put up a tree or any decorations. I am just not in the spirit without Bob. I feel rejection, and that sucks. I do know that Christmas is not about me. It is our Lord Jesus Christ being born for us, for our sins. And that gets me through the glitter and the 800 commercials wanting you to buy everything. I told my family and friends, that this year I do not want ANYTHING, from them but hugs. I don't have extra money this year. I just want Bob back.
Monday we had a snow storm. Anyone who knows me , knows I hate driving in snow and ice. I miss Bob here. He would drive me to work, and pick me up after. I miss that. I drove slow to work all the way with my knuckles gripping the steering wheel tight. I drove 25-35 on a 50 mile an hour road covered in snow and ice. The snow is beautiful to look at, but I hate driving in it. I am alive tonight. I lived to tell about it. Ha ha. So enjoy the pictures and let me know what you think. Please keep praying for Bob and I.. Thanks.....Gail
ONE MORE THING..TODAY AT SCHOOL WE ONLY HAD 7 OUT OF 20 KIDS THERE DUE TO NO BUS SERVICE, AND SNOW AND ICE. WE WERE EATING LUNCH AND I ASKED ONE OF THE 4 YEAR OLD BOYS.."WHO IS THE PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW?" HE WASN'T SURE. I HINTED, "GEORGE????" THEN HE SAYS, "GEORGE LOPEZ." OH MY GOSH DID WE LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY PRAYER.................

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER by Maya Angelou'

A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin,'I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.

'When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say.... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain... I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Marriage Counseling is good.

Not to go into too much detail, I just want to say please keep praying for Bob and I to tackle our problems. I want to apologize to Bob for hurting him in any way. I want to apologize to Bob for everything. Pain, hurt, barbs, comments, non love, any and everything. I want to build him up, not tear him down, Honor him. I want to be there for him as I should with God as our Number ONE. First and foremost I want to glorify God through my love to Bob. I thank Bob for letting us go to counseling . Keep Praying...Love, Gail

BE BLESSED!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM GAIL AND IZZY.

11/27/08

PICTURES FROM DENVER AQUARIUM

AND MY IZZY GIRL.

HAPPY

THANKSGIVING

TO

ALL

MY

FRIENDS!!!

LOVE, GAIL

Why does this hurt so big?

So what is marriage suppose to be? I know it isn't suppose to be a bunch of games. It is suppose to be honesty, love, truth, caring, the future, togetherness, straight forwardness, security, unconditional love, give and take, challenges, tenderness, protection, a safe place, a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry on, or with, pure caring, not game playing. I want the hurt to go away, and for the future to be so great. I want Bob to care about me in a way that blows the best marriage away. I know with God in control, our marriage can be fixed. I just wish Bob did......................Pray

My Friend Rita

Pray for Rita !!!!

Hi All, I am surviving. I love my job, so that keeps me busy. I wanted to ask anyone who reads this to please pray hard for my friend Rita (a teacher where I work) She had thyroid surgery Friday. She coughed and split some bleeders. She almost died. She is a strong Christian woman and now she is in ICU. Also please pray she doesn't have cancer. I thank you so much. Love, Gail

God Is My Rock!!!

It is Sunday, November 2, 2008. This past few days have been horrible . Bob came home to see his dad and also to tell me things with us are bad. I do not want to go into that, because all I do is end up crying. All I know is God is in control of every part of my life, everyday, all day. God has big shoulders to lean on and many people are praying for us. I love Bob. I do not want my marriage to end. That is not right. I told Bob, I like when he is home because I feel safe. He is my protector. He leaves tomorrow for Kansas. I wish I was going with him right now. I do. I do not want to leave my job, I love it, but for my marriage I would. I complain about Bob from time to time, and I need to stop that. I just need prayers. I want to be a better wife for Bob. No one's marriage or life is perfect. No one's. Marriage is a big, big deal, that needs lots of TLC. Bob sold every last chicken so I wouldn't have to worry about them or deal with it while he is gone. I appreciate that. I hope to someday have chickens and eggs again, but for now, no chickens. The back yard looks naked! All I have to worry about is my Izzy. Our customers will not like it, but oh well. My well being is number one right now.
My hives on my neck and arms are gone, my fat lip is gone, I am feeling better. Back to work tomorrow. Please keep Bob and I in your prayers. For his safety, for God to guide him, for my sanity, and for our marriage to Rock for God! I thank you from the bottom of my heart...... Gail

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZZY....

Stretchin girl


Izzy in her Lobster outfit.

Izzy in her Hot Dog outfit.

Izzy being my girl.

Izzy in her winter coat. What a cutie. I love you Izzy Doodle. Mom

I totally forgot my little Izzy's 2nd Birthday. Her Birthday was October 24. So here are some of her pictures, I had to share with everyone. HAPPY BELATED 2ND BIRTHDAY IZZY !!!!

AM I ALLERGIC TO BOB?

What a dumb day. Bob came home Weds. because he heard his dad went to the ER Sunday. No one called us. Art is doing better. So on a bright side, Bob is home for a couple days. :) On the bad side of this I broke out in Hives all over my neck, arms, and face and head. Went to the walk-in clinic again, and they gave me a 50 mg shot of Benedryl in my backside. They asked if I had a ride home, because this large of a dose would knock me out. Thank God Bob was there. I thought the hives were from combining meds, but the NP told me it looks like more from Stress or a food allergy I have. It has been 8 hours since my shot and I still have hives all over my neck. It is so itchy and uncomfortable. I did sleep for hours when we got home. I feel so bad, Bob comes home after being gone a month and half, and I am sick. I want to feel better so I can take care of him while he is here. I had to call in to work today and it was Pajama day. All the kids and staff wear their comfy jammies to school. I missed that. I am sad. The NP gave me note to not return to work til Monday. Kim I am so, so sorry I wasn't there for you today. I really wanted to be. I felt so crappy all day, so I am glad I didn't try to go to work. So that's life here right now.
Bob took apart some of the chicken coops with his dad to take to their house. So all in all Bob got a little bonding time in with his awesome dad and his brother Rex. Ok back to the couch I go. Bob will be heading to Kansas after the weekend. :( Be safe.....Gail

OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH

I am happy. But sad. I went to a memorial service today, for a 15 year old boy who took his own life. I felt like deja vu with my niece Laurie's service. I cried. Everyone cried. This awesome boy was on the football team, in ROTC, he was the friend who everyone loved and looked up to. So why????? I will never, never understand why people feel life will be better if they aren't here. I worked with the boy's grandpa Vern . They are so hurting. So sad!!!!!! Please pray for this wonderful family...

Oh a happier note, I sold 34 chickens today. Yes. we have about 18 birds left. That is so nice. Less money for feed, less feed, less work. I like it. I thank Bob for letting us sell 34 chickens. Yee Haw. So now I will still be collecting eggs everyday with the left over birds, but sure can't sell like I did. I'm happy. Its a weight lifted off me. I borrowed a boy from church to help me clean the coops yesterday. I paid him for his time. We talked a lot. Good kid.

So that is my life this weekend. I am feeling better this week. All the meds have helped. I have been very hormonal lately. I miss Bob, and him doing stuff around home. He leaves the 27th for Kansas. For the 6 months. Yes I'll need prayers...